Surrogate Episode II

This is NSFW.  For Language, sacrilege, and disregard for social correctness.  See the warning in the introduction to Episode I.

Surrogate Episode II
Original May 28, 2009



“Pretty quick response.  What gives?”

“Fish weren’t biting.”

“You fish?”

“Don’t go there.”

“Okay.  I have news of Jack.”

“That would be Jack Y******* of New Hampshire?


“Feisty bastard.”

“Well, the surgery had no complications I’ve been told of and the doc said he didn’t see anything beyond what he went after.”

“Good.  Are you saying ‘Thanks?’”

“Mrs. Jack said something about he didn’t even need blood.”

“He could have given blood.  All that healthy crap he eats.  Thanks?”

“It’s his lifestyle.  It’s what he does to wage war against the forces of time and disease against him – against us all.  And yes, thank you.  A lot.”

“Steak is good.  Pork.  Fish.”

“You eat pork?

“I created everything to a purpose.  What else is a pig good for?” 

“But the Jewish people, the chosen ones?”

“Their words not mine.  Their rules, not mine.”

“They had it on ‘reliable’ sources.  Didn’t you rename Ishmael to Israel after he wrestled with you?”

“That was Jacob.  Another tough bastard.  Off day for me.  This thing about the shrunken muscle.  Pure crap.  Good press; stupid reasoning.”

“So.  Well, anyway, they believe themselves to have the inside track and you gave them the word with no priest to intercede.”

“Not really.  Men had a funny habit of writing it down as they heard it, not as I meant it.  You’re all still mucking it up.”

“So, you came up with Aaron and all the other priests?”

“Another idea gone south.  They’re not any better.   Duh.  They’re after all, mortal.”

“Wait.  Good?  What good?  What do you mean, “Good?””

“Oh. Jack.  Good to know.”

“But you already knew.  Didn’t you?”

“There’s that free will thing.  Need I explain?”

“Doesn’t that take it to the extreme?”

“Depends on your perspective.  Now from here, there is no such thing as extreme.”

“So, with this ‘free will’ and ‘choice’ we, we being mankind, we mortals, can do anything?”

“I set limits.  I start to feel uncomfortable, I slow things down a bit.  War is good for that.  Well, on the other hand sometimes that backfires.”

“Jack knew this?  Jack knew about this innate ability?  Wow.”

“Jack didn’t know.  He hoped.  He prayed. He worked.  He chose.”

“Said he didn’t. Pray.”

“Ah, but he did, each in his own way.  Oh, there’s a nice one just jumped over in Lake Snead. Maybe I can get her to bite.”

“Her?  Bite? Why don’t you just, I dunno, will something or other and not waste time fishing?”

“Why create all this and not enjoy?  It’s sport.  It’s, oh, in terms you can only begin to understand, some of that ‘free will’ thing.”

“Okay.  While I got you…”

“Gotta go.  Sun’s setting on the lake.”

“It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Lake Snead.  Scotland.  Beautiful place.  I wonder.  A Parachute Green Mayfly?”

“Oh.  Yeah.  All seeing.  All knowing.  Try a Wulff Gray Whisker Mayfly.”

“Scotland, you dummy.  Lake.  Get that?  Lake Snead.  Slow water.”


“Tell Jack: fish is good, but so is steak.  And potatoes.  And chocolate.  A cigar.  And, well, he’ll catch on.”

“Can I tell him I have it on good authority?  Cigar?”

“The best, the only authority.  And a good cigar is, well, a good ending to a great day, a good day, or even a terrible day.”

“Good luck.”


“Fishing, I mean.”

“     ”


© SP Wilcenski 2020

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