[Slap worn out today, so I’ll cheat with one from the archives…]
Given a choice between – take:
Laughter and crying – Laughter. It takes less energy to go from laughing to crying than it does to go from crying to laughing. If you have to transition, you sure don’t want to wear yourself out. Besides, you might learn to like laughing. A lot of folks do.
Anger and disappointment – Disappointment. Anger will make you physically ill. Disappointment will automagically have you trying to figure out how to forgive circumstances, your transgressor, or yourself and you’ll start feeling better faster.
Chocolate and vanilla ice cream – Chocolate. No-brainer, though, if you have good chocolate syrup. Or butterscotch or caramel. Syrups, and fruit preserves go better with vanilla. Unless it’s Shuffmeister’s Chocolate which is hands-down the best mix of nasty chemicals and artificial ingredients in the world – none better – in which case you can forgo the syrups and just pig-city Shuffmeister Chocolate.
Ford or Chevy – Whatever Uncle Bob drove. Remember he bought his car new in 1965. Never put a dime into it. Drove it for thirty years covering his territory for Acme-Apex depilatory devices until the wheels fell off right in front of Sparky’s junkyard. Speaks to the reliability of the badge.
Giving-up and pressing-on – Press on. Any sissy can give up. It takes real crust to give it another go. Besides, it might jerk someone’s chain to see that you’re still at it. You’ll show them. By gum!
Pizza with or without pineapple – ‘With’ all the way. You won’t have to worry about sharing with many folks. Toss on some anchovy and you might have the whole thing to yourself. Breakfast tomorrow morning, then, is leftover pizza – your leftover anchovy/pineapple pizza.
Love and hate – love. Sure, love seems to break easily. If you keep practicing, though, sooner or later you’ll hit the right giver-receiver combination and it becomes fairly-well a perpetual motion machine. Hate, on the other hand requires constant work to maintain; you keep forgetting why you hate and have to start all over again, every time.
[Originally posted to Prose July 15, 2020. Edited here.]