Well, I thought so, but I’m a weird duck.
First, a word from our sponsor…
In a bit of a snit today. My list of lists has come up missing. You better bet when I find it, I’m gonna make a list of where I keep my lists from now on. Until I locate the “Master List,” I’ll not cease to plod along, but I’ll be out-of-sorts until it shows up. Absence of the Master List will impede my progress; I’ll be working from memory. Some danger in that? Absolutely. I may start and even complete tasks not on any current list. Inefficient and priority disruptive.
Yes. I’m one of those. A list-keeper. Not something new because of slower memory reflexes with advancing age. Lists have been not so much necessary as a point of stability for me as far back as I can remember being near-adult.1 I will admit from a seminal single list, I’ve refined the process, functionally isolating list items by end-goals and who might have unwelcome interests in my daily progress into separate lists.
Someone who deals with me and my lists on a regular basis has gone so far as to suggest when I complete something not on a list,2 I add it to the list so I can then cross it off or put a check-mark3 beside it. I’m going to let that one go. If I deny, you’ll smugly assume I do add-just-to-cross-off. If I ignore the suggestion, you’ll feel the supposition preposterous. Consider the question ignored.
But there is simple-to-great satisfaction watching a list lose pending items. A sense of accomplishment. Confidence that nothing is being overlooked.
Sure, I’ve lost Master Lists before. On one or two occasions, I believe some foreign superpower snucked-in and stole them. Up until recently, I’ve been successful re-constructing from memory. Not without pain and calamitous delay. Now, alas, age starting to wrinkle my grey cells, I’m never happy I’ve been entirely successful.
Sure hope I find this one.4
I think that you won’t never see
A guy as handsome as is me.
Beyond just handsome, I is smart.
In fact, I make of smarts an art.
Watch real close and you will see
Them girls in town they all love me.
Blonde, brunette, ginger, raven,
This handsome bod is what they’re craving.
Can’t hardly blame the ladies much
I got Moxy, muscles, charm, and such.
And when comes time to make a splash,
I got on hand sufficient cash.
We’ll ride my car, it’s fast and cool,
As around the town we wildly tool.5
Women line up to get their turn,
To help me all my moolah burn.
I’ve hardly started singing praise
Some finer points I’m yet to raise.
I offer this quite honestly –
It’s tough to stay hu-mil-ity.
(Apologies to Joyce Kilmer)
1 Near adult. I guess since high school when it was assumed by many I should start acting responsibly. Lists were at first a defense mechanism. “Have you finished cleaning the holding stalls?” Correct answer: “Not yet, but it’s on the top of my list.” “Have you completed nominations for the Citizenship Committee?” Salvation: “No, but it’s on my list right after Varsity Club Alumni Basketball game planning meeting.” Anyone snickering about “near adult,” suggesting at this late date I still struggle to be “adult,” – up yours!
2 If you suggest you have the steel to do only what’s on your list until your list is completed or you retire for the evening, you’re a bald-faced liar. Aside assignments, if not of my own doing, are because I answer to a higher authority not bashful about rearranging my work. Constantly. Such phrases as, “when you get a minute,” “since you’re already in the kitchen,” “you don’t have to do it right now, but,” preamble redirection of my efforts.
3 But of course. Individual items on different lists are marked ‘complete’ in different ways. Easy-peasy lists get perfunctory checkmarks. Piffle. Done. Next. Long standing list items, those taking hours or even days or weeks rate vigorously drawing lines through the entry or scribbling over the item almost to the point of making it illegible. There! Done! Finally! Whew! Grocery lists items, I generally am forced to work from memory, forgetting to take a pen or pencil with me leaving the house.
4 Master Lists locate and hold temporary new candidate items for Yard/Garage/Honey-do, Pending Paperwork and Correspondence, Relocation Activities, WordPress Pending, Commercial Writing, Groceries, Next Big Boys’ Toy Store Forays, and, um, unh, one other list that presently escapes me.
5 Tool. Ride. Cruise. Drag the Ave.