Pay the Piper – March 27, 2021

See? I’m recycling my old images.

“Had enough yet?” asked Mother Nature.

“Yeah.  I think I’m gonna move,” I replied.

“You’ve been talking about moving forever.”

“I’ve not been around ‘forever.’”

“No, indeed you have not.  That’s hyperbole for effect.”

“You don’t need hyperbole.”

“How’s that?”

“Winter sleet.  Snow pellets.  Freeze-thaw. More snow. More freeze-thaw.”

“Freeze thaw.  That was a nice touch, don’t you think?”

“Uncalled for.  Had us on our knees with the snow and ice.”

“Flexing my muscle.  Irony.”

“Sarcasm, I think.  Not necessary. Do you have any idea what this has cost me?”

“Can you wrap your tiny little brain around what you’ve cost me?”

“You’ll recover.  You always do.”

“That’s what I’m doing now.”

“What?”

“Recovering.”

“With a vengeance!”

“Otherwise, you’d just ignore me.”

“And the stress!”

“You think I’m immune to stress?”

“All of this is a bit much. Enough is enough!”

“You push. You shove.  I push and shove back.”

“I’m moving to Florida.”

“Hurricane season’s gonna be a beaut this year.  Don’t even think about Texas or Louisiana.”

“Alaska, then.”

“Wait until you see the new ice-age.”

“West coast. Or east of the Rockies…”

“Stay away from Yellowstone.”

“Why”

“Time to stretch the old muscle.  I’m due! You call it that ‘supervolcano’ thing.”

“No?”

“Make book on it.” 

“When?”

“Up in the air right now.  That’s a bit of a chuckle.”

“What?”

“Up in the air. You ain’t seen nothin yet.”

“But here?”

“Workin on it.”

“Enough already, don’t you think?”

“You wanna dance, you gotta pay the piper.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Carbon emissions, pollution, methane farts, strip mining. Deforestation. Just for starters.  Comes at a price.”

“Never bothered before.”

“Well, you said it.”

“What?”

“Enough is enough.”

“Right. You’ve beat us pretty good with the tornadoes.  Maybe we’re due some quiet time. I should just stay here.”

“Wait until you see this afternoon.”

“What have you got planned?”

“Gonna be a surprise!”

As I poke this out, She’s at it again.  Has been since a little after 3 am.  Point of reference, it’s 8 am now.  Nice for the lawn.  To a point.  Grass, luxuriant though it may be, gets so long, it lays down on itself, gets matted, and ultimately suffocates. Or drowns.  Can’t get on it in time to keep it trimmed to a safe length.  Those of us who do our own lawn work are out at every break in rain.  The commercial folk don’t care.  They’ve got humongous machines that suck blades upright before shearing them off.  Problem is, they leave big mounds of clippings which in this weather quickly kill the live grass beneath.

The old man-machine, across the street kattywhumpus, Mel, was over yesterday afternoon while I was stripping-up old lawn brick.  He was inspecting the exterior of the house the snowbird lives in.  Snowbird is in Florida right now.  Missed the big to-do.  Alarms went off last night during the big storm.  Snowbird called Mel.

“Did you tell Mr. Florida we had one hellova storm last night?”

“Mentioned it.”

“Tell him we had hail?”

“We did?”

“Sure did.”

 “Any size to it?”

“Almost golf ball size.  Beat the hell outta the windows.”

“That’d set off the alarms.”

“Break windows too, if it the winds were right.”

“Guess I’ll have another look.”

“Mel?”

“Yunh?”

“You talk to Florida, tell him he can run but he can’t hide.”

“Why’s that?”

“I have it on good authority.  June soon.  Hurricanes.”

“I’ll remind him.”

Still gonna look for another barn to dance in.

Published by spwilcen

Retired career IT software engineer, or as we were called in the old days, programmer, it's time to empty my file cabinet of all the "creative" writing accumulated over the years - toss most of it, salvage and publish what is worthwhile.

14 thoughts on “Pay the Piper – March 27, 2021

  1. Moving? Just like you said there is no where to go to get away from Mother Nature. Good Luck with finding that barn to dance in.

    1. Thankee. I’ll get by. Big concern is always for the Boss. I’d be in the desert somewhere if I didn’t have to be mindful of best for her. Which is ultimately, nut of course, best for me.

  2. Hate to say it, cause I really hate Western WaRshington, but, if you don’t mind two Wx states (raining or not raining) then this ain’t a bad place to live. Eastern Wa is a lot dryer, but also colder in the winter. Lot’s of open sky and few what you’d call storms. A good thunderstorm is kind of an event. Could be Winslow, Az or the Canyonlands area is in my future …
    Keep up the good work!

    1. Been to Winslow. Neat, tiny place. Interesting meet with a native chieftian, who both put me in my place and gave me one hellova laugh all at the same time. Thanks for dropping words. Be careful out there; read tales of your battles with Old Lady Mother Nature.

  3. Very good SP! Hope the weather finally calms down and gives you some peace and quiet time. But you’re right, it looks horrendous all over the place. Either horrible winter storms or floods, wild fires, earthquakes, tornadoes et cetera et cetera…
    Stay safe and stay dry my friend,
    All the best,
    FBC.

    1. 12:30 PM Local. Still raining but it seems its heart isn’t in it. Limited outside work for the sogginess. Good afternoon for a nap. Do well. SP

      1. A restless night, actually. Thunder all afternoon and to 4 am. MUCH lightning and a LOT of rain. There was a period of twenty minutes with no rain, so I quickly grilled dinner and finished almost in time to cover the grill again against the rains. Exceptionally ugly weather, even for here. Enjoy your peace and calm. SP

  4. Good luck with the moving bud, hope you find somewhere that suits. The idea of a conversation with the weather was great. Very funny!

    1. High praise from the Master Punster. Thanks for taking a gander. Did take that nap. Wonder if it was the vaccination or I was just slap worn out? Methinks the Duph is onto something with his “lie downs.”

      1. How does Dauph like the vacc? Only had my first. Scheduling here has been the pits. Do well this Sunday afternoon.

      2. Dauphy don’t mind jabs. Never feels ’em. Doing well here. About a third of population vaccinated already.

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