Uninspirations – February 6, 2021

Befitting my role as a card-carrying misanthrope, I pause to reflect on some of the many things that routinely cancel feelings of positivity, make me seriously consider becoming either a Democrat or Repullican, confirm my misanthropy, and provide me a steady supply of giggles.  In short, things capable of taking an otherwise perfectly good day and turning it into a slog, albeit with that occasional chuckle.

Rainy days that keep struggling to turn sun-shiny

Diner waitresses who insist on calling me “Hon” or “Sugar”

Plastic smiles on dental and medical front-desk clerks

Entertainment celebs trying to convince me to write a check to save Rhode Island’s orphaned iguanas

Grocery store checkout clerks who don’t recognize kohlrabi

“Free” bundled software with the sole purpose of selling and installing other software

Feminists developing hearing disabilities sensing tenor, baritone, or bass audio

Self-checkout kiosks

Christmas decorations displacing Halloween displays

National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (NCICD) and International Two-ply Toilet Tissue Week (ITTTW)

Acronyms for the sake of acronymity

Tradesmen who can’t schedule a service call for two weeks

Two for $12.00 or $5.98 each promotions

Daily fluctuations in gasoline prices

Twenty-eight-ounce quarts of milk

Smug vegans

Software developers who break flawless applications to install enhancements no one wants or needs

Cranky old men

Daylight Savings Time

Emojis

Six-page bank statements

LOL

“Translators” that don’t

“New and Improved” that isn’t

Overly large people with poorly developed ideas of body-image

Beautiful people who aren’t

Electronic spam

Pork leavings prodigiously oversalted, with sodium nitrite, vegetable starch, and sugar (SPAM)

Having thus cheered myself up, I suppose it’s time to wash-up the breakfast dishes.

Published by spwilcen

Retired career IT software engineer, or as we were called in the old days, programmer, it's time to empty my file cabinet of all the "creative" writing accumulated over the years - toss most of it, salvage and publish what is worthwhile.

27 thoughts on “Uninspirations – February 6, 2021

    1. Ah I’m in good shape. These pithy *with a lithp* thoughts kept getting in the way while I worked two other “blog” topics simultaneously at the same time all at once. Will say that people sure don’t like the truth in social commentary. Good thing I didn’t include the “Caligulafornia girls” and the slovenliness of my own “generation.” Good to see you, looking for your next post. Take care, Bub.

      1. Oddly, in truth, neither of us (in our dark and irredeemable hearts) consider ourselves “grumpy old men.” “Old” we cannot deny – you much more able to pull it off than I, if you cared to. It’s the “grumpy” part that escapes me. We simply name names, tell the truth, and see folly all around us, many take seriously. Thanks for the brief chat this morning. Do well. And hustle so your shadow has to hurry to keep up.

      2. ‘Grumpy old men’ is right at the top of my Inspirational list, next to ‘Crazy crones’ who Hubby finds so irritating he leaves the house whenever I turn on their YT channels.

  1. Less of this joking around. Me and Dauphy are seriously worried. He wants to know why no one told him before that the iguanas on Rhode Island are in trouble!

  2. Definitely a great listing. I quite agree with most except for the one against emojis. I love them! They’re the new icons of our times. They’ve the power to interpret, transmit and transcend our profane emotions and convert them into sacred communication. All the best SP!
    F.

    1. We will forever disagree on this. Emojis are continuation of the laziness of people, intellectually, emotionally, and in social interaction. They do not fully express anything except that laziness. Were I to declare a period means I think your post a stroke of brilliance, would that suffice to advise you that while I liked it, I disagreed almost entirely with it? If I cannot take time to express in words, attempting to make clear my thoughts, relying on smiley faces, frowns, grimaces, and whatever else my browser supports to communicate to you, I suggest what I want to say is not worth saying. Thank you for your thoughtful opinion, as always esteemed. SP

      1. Whatever. LOL! I don’t use emojis personally, but I would, if they were easier to choose. I LOVE when others send me emojis, even though I don’t use them, because then I can feel what they mean, even when they suck generally at expressing their emotions in words.

      2. Right behind emojis are “like” buttons, eh? Adding a “dislike” button would improve single-finger conversations by 50% immediately. Okay, guess not. “Dislike” would hurt someone’s feelings. I caught the snark behind “LOL.”

      3. Nice catch. The ‘like’ button’s main issue with me is in the realm of bad/undesired content that’s still (in?)supportable—what does that do to the karma to ‘like’ someone’s posts with photos about their recent tornado, or similar??

      4. Judicious application would suggest one not “like” a tornado post, but rather comment expressing sympathy while recognizing the accuracy and informativeness of the post. On the other hand, in this emoji-society would even 50% of those out there so inured to reality in favor of collecting emojicons recognize such a need? Gonna bet, as my Pop used to say, “a dollar to a dog biscuit and hold the stakes in my mouth” at least 1/4 of the folk don’t know what they just “liked.” I wear misanthropy well, eh?

      5. I have the highest standards in the misanthropic department and I’m moderately impressed by your wares for the time being. PC culture being what it is, I do hope you develop exponentially in the near future. And NO sugar-helps-the-medicine emojis for you!

      6. I would not use an emoji unless it’s for something superfluous but for anything else I would respect the writer/blogger’s time and reply appropriately. We still agree my friend! Take good care,
        F.

    1. Thanks for chuckling back. Um. As a long-standing member IAGMMO, I had checkbook in hand when it dawned on me (an arduous process at best) that had funds spent filming, airing, and paying talent[?] for the appeal been dispatched to Woonsocket, both of the creatures would have been handsomely tended the balance of the winter. Hit me with a brick! Fool me once…

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