Befitting my role as a card-carrying misanthrope, I pause to reflect on some of the many things that routinely cancel feelings of positivity, make me seriously consider becoming either a Democrat or Repullican, confirm my misanthropy, and provide me a steady supply of giggles. In short, things capable of taking an otherwise perfectly good day and turning it into a slog, albeit with that occasional chuckle.
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Rainy days that keep struggling to turn sun-shiny
Diner waitresses who insist on calling me “Hon” or “Sugar”
Plastic smiles on dental and medical front-desk clerks
Entertainment celebs trying to convince me to write a check to save Rhode Island’s orphaned iguanas
Grocery store checkout clerks who don’t recognize kohlrabi
“Free” bundled software with the sole purpose of selling and installing other software
Feminists developing hearing disabilities sensing tenor, baritone, or bass audio
Self-checkout kiosks
Christmas decorations displacing Halloween displays
National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (NCICD) and International Two-ply Toilet Tissue Week (ITTTW)
Acronyms for the sake of acronymity
Tradesmen who can’t schedule a service call for two weeks
Two for $12.00 or $5.98 each promotions
Daily fluctuations in gasoline prices
Twenty-eight-ounce quarts of milk
Smug vegans
Software developers who break flawless applications to install enhancements no one wants or needs
Cranky old men
Daylight Savings Time
Emojis
Six-page bank statements
LOL
“Translators” that don’t
“New and Improved” that isn’t
Overly large people with poorly developed ideas of body-image
Beautiful people who aren’t
Electronic spam
Pork leavings prodigiously oversalted, with sodium nitrite, vegetable starch, and sugar (SPAM)
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Having thus cheered myself up, I suppose it’s time to wash-up the breakfast dishes.
Hopefully the only way for your mood is up from here..😎
Ah I’m in good shape. These pithy *with a lithp* thoughts kept getting in the way while I worked two other “blog” topics simultaneously at the same time all at once. Will say that people sure don’t like the truth in social commentary. Good thing I didn’t include the “Caligulafornia girls” and the slovenliness of my own “generation.” Good to see you, looking for your next post. Take care, Bub.
You too have a good one, and as that famous Austrian said: I’ll be back… (with another post)
one resonated stronger than all the others. CVan you guess which?
Gimme a sec. Mr. Bump… IT guy… Socially conscious with guts to follow-up… Challenge taker… Still thinking…
Don’t think too hard! Hope the weekend is going well.
Counter-intuitive, but I’m going with “bundled software”? Otherwise, I give. What?
no it was as simple as “grumpy old man”. But I’m not sayin’ whether you or me 🤣
Oddly, in truth, neither of us (in our dark and irredeemable hearts) consider ourselves “grumpy old men.” “Old” we cannot deny – you much more able to pull it off than I, if you cared to. It’s the “grumpy” part that escapes me. We simply name names, tell the truth, and see folly all around us, many take seriously. Thanks for the brief chat this morning. Do well. And hustle so your shadow has to hurry to keep up.
My theory is that sooner or later we all get that way. We see more and more of the world around us and it’s inevitable!
‘Grumpy old men’ is right at the top of my Inspirational list, next to ‘Crazy crones’ who Hubby finds so irritating he leaves the house whenever I turn on their YT channels.
Less of this joking around. Me and Dauphy are seriously worried. He wants to know why no one told him before that the iguanas on Rhode Island are in trouble!
You don’t get BBC Chan 4?
Definitely a great listing. I quite agree with most except for the one against emojis. I love them! They’re the new icons of our times. They’ve the power to interpret, transmit and transcend our profane emotions and convert them into sacred communication. All the best SP!
F.
We will forever disagree on this. Emojis are continuation of the laziness of people, intellectually, emotionally, and in social interaction. They do not fully express anything except that laziness. Were I to declare a period means I think your post a stroke of brilliance, would that suffice to advise you that while I liked it, I disagreed almost entirely with it? If I cannot take time to express in words, attempting to make clear my thoughts, relying on smiley faces, frowns, grimaces, and whatever else my browser supports to communicate to you, I suggest what I want to say is not worth saying. Thank you for your thoughtful opinion, as always esteemed. SP
Whatever. LOL! I don’t use emojis personally, but I would, if they were easier to choose. I LOVE when others send me emojis, even though I don’t use them, because then I can feel what they mean, even when they suck generally at expressing their emotions in words.
Right behind emojis are “like” buttons, eh? Adding a “dislike” button would improve single-finger conversations by 50% immediately. Okay, guess not. “Dislike” would hurt someone’s feelings. I caught the snark behind “LOL.”
Nice catch. The ‘like’ button’s main issue with me is in the realm of bad/undesired content that’s still (in?)supportable—what does that do to the karma to ‘like’ someone’s posts with photos about their recent tornado, or similar??
Judicious application would suggest one not “like” a tornado post, but rather comment expressing sympathy while recognizing the accuracy and informativeness of the post. On the other hand, in this emoji-society would even 50% of those out there so inured to reality in favor of collecting emojicons recognize such a need? Gonna bet, as my Pop used to say, “a dollar to a dog biscuit and hold the stakes in my mouth” at least 1/4 of the folk don’t know what they just “liked.” I wear misanthropy well, eh?
I have the highest standards in the misanthropic department and I’m moderately impressed by your wares for the time being. PC culture being what it is, I do hope you develop exponentially in the near future. And NO sugar-helps-the-medicine emojis for you!
Unh. I’m not sure if I was just slammed or simply belittled for not being misanthropic enough.
Perfect. You’re welcome.
I would not use an emoji unless it’s for something superfluous but for anything else I would respect the writer/blogger’s time and reply appropriately. We still agree my friend! Take good care,
F.
Someone has to advocate for the orphaned iguanas! If not you, then who? It not now, then when?
Thanks for chuckling back. Um. As a long-standing member IAGMMO, I had checkbook in hand when it dawned on me (an arduous process at best) that had funds spent filming, airing, and paying talent[?] for the appeal been dispatched to Woonsocket, both of the creatures would have been handsomely tended the balance of the winter. Hit me with a brick! Fool me once…
I love like, at least 3 of those. But surely we can ALL agree on ‘smug vegans’ no??
Yes. Operative “smug.”