Electron Wastebin – January 4, 2021

Time to get out the whisk broom and dustpan.  Let’s open up the bulging “Wordpress Pending” folder.  If an item looks useable, use it.  If it was ill-conceived when scrubbed from the post it was intended to adorn and still shows no promise, scrap it.  If it’s a complete mystery, leave it in “Pending” another six months; maybe it will grow legs. 

Not to worry.  While rejects are headed for the electron wastebin, nothing is hazardous.  At least not that I can determine.  Pay no attention to the fact I’m dressed in hazmat togs.  The teaser image is just that. 

Seems a shame to throw some of this stuff out.  Wonder if Goodwill1 takes unused, almost functional prose rejects?  Probably not.

Anyway, we’re going to start 2021 with an empty reject file.  Pardon me while I sort through things.

Oh, here’s one

Ah.  No.  Never mind.  Too far over the “racy edge.”  Not clever enough to invest much energy cleaning it up for public consumption.  Maybe a short story in it?  No.  New year and all.  Not really a resolution per se, but let’s see how long we can take the “high road” before cranking-up the “NSFW” icon.

Wordplay

Vitriolic – I’m not sure I’m proud to say this word has been tossed at me on several occasions.  As an adjective it suggests severely critical, biting, bitter, or caustic in temperament or speech.  Vile, mean, and nasty.  Nothing about this word is good unless you use the noun root but that refers to sulfuric acid lending better definition to the adjective form.  Dangerous, sulfuric acid has beneficial uses.  Vitriolic demeanor has none.  I mean, unless you’re building a character for a story.

If the sign says…

Swimming prohibited Does that mean drowning is permitted?

Warning Deer Area.  Warning who?  Deer or people?  I’ve heard of Whitetail Deer.  Is there a deer called “Warning Deer”?

No passing.    Can you still lateral?2

Maximum safe speed 45 mph.    Um, okay.  What’s the maximum unsafe speed?

No U-Turn.  Can I do a J turn?

Is this a limerick?

A right-handed lass simply dubious,
And a liberal lad most curious,
On the polling just past
Were agreed and aghast:
“No matter who’s won, they’ll be screwin’ us.”

Inspiration

If at first you don’t suck seed, suck harder.

If your job were any easier, someone else would be doing it.

Learning more from failure than success?  You need to try harder or improve your study habits.

If you’re not going to help, at least don’t get in the way.

Before you learn to fly, learn how to land.

If you spend more time dreaming than doing, you’re either lazy or have damned good dreams.

Work as if you know what you’re doing. Pretty soon you’ll believe it.  Soon after that, others will believe it.  Shortly after that, it will be true.

Best liar

Tossed some introductory phrases.  Meant to support a short story.  You’ve heard these from time to time. Everyone has.  When you hear them, you start rolling up your trouser legs.3  Often they introduce or close anecdotes boiling down to the first liar hasn’t got a chance.

  • Trust me, I got this.
  • Almost there.
  • Just take a minute.
  • You’re gonna love it.
  • Would I lie to you?
  • He’ll never miss it.
  • This is my first time.
  • For only nine ninety-five.
  • It’s not heavy.
  • Just pay shipping and handling.
  • Won’t hurt a bit.
  • Yes, Momma.

No factory seconds here

A few “pending” odds and ends survived the purge.  One or two items were laid back.  To guarantee there will be something to toss out next year.   Most of what was I found was “scrap.”  Some items, before sliding off into the electron abyss, prompted original nonsensical blurbs better than the original.

Now with an empty working folder, let’s see how long it takes to come up with the next “scheduled” post.  I’m as curious as I hope you are.

Just checked my dosimeter.  We’re good.

1 Goodwill.  An international non-profit recycling household and personal goods and in the process, training and employing thousands of people who otherwise might not have employment opportunities.

2 American football.  A lateral is a sideways pass.  

3 Rolling up your pants leg.  Suggesting fabrications, exaggerations, and outright lies will flow so deep and fast, it they were water, before long you’d be wet to your ankles.  The common US inference is that lies are equivalent to a cesspool of outhouse overflow.

Published by spwilcen

Retired career IT software engineer, or as we were called in the old days, programmer, it's time to empty my file cabinet of all the "creative" writing accumulated over the years - toss most of it, salvage and publish what is worthwhile.

15 thoughts on “Electron Wastebin – January 4, 2021

  1. I like the limerick! But, I find vitriolic to be the appropriate tone in reaction to political correctness and other forms of Authoritarian abuses and when you can do it well with a smile, why not?? 🙂

  2. Greetings my good friend. Well, here we are, beginning a new week and a new year, sort of been there, done that. However, we are all wanting something different this time around. We all recall last January 1 and how hopeful we were for the year. Trips, projects, new jobs, new houses, new children, new stuff. And we all know how it turned out. Many of us have to thank God that we are still around and that we avoided that ugly bug, but many didn’t fare as well. So, is there a lesson? Probably, many would say, as there is always a lesson to be learned from failures, as you mentioned above. But was this our failure? What did we do to deserve this, some might wonder. But neither would be correct. It is what it is…

    I’ve enjoyed your electron wastebin, my friend. Hope you do find the good ones and turn them into great ones as you are prone to do and have done so many times. I am trying to do the same. Many plans, but they are all open ended, loose, easy and fun. Take good care and all the best to you,
    F.

  3. Thanks for taking a few moments to chat. “Open ended, loose, easy and fun.” That’s the way to do it. Looking forward to seeing your “revised post schedule of ops.”

    Fault? No one looking for fault. I’m not. You’re not. Someone is, well, let’s feel sorry for them but not try to correct them. We’re busy keeping it loose, easy and fun!

  4. Once stayed at a campground where swimming was prohibited, but skiing wasn’t. Doesn’t one have to swim to even get to skiing? And here in WaRshington, the Warning Deer stand by the side of the road waving at you to slow down for the Statie around the bend … Nice read. No, really, I enjoyed it. 🙂

  5. Your ramblings do exactly what it says on the tin. They ramble. You slide seamlessly from one topic to another, and it makes for such enjoyable reading. You bring to mind the way my thoughts tumble from one thing to another when I can’t get to sleep. Another excellent post scoring ten out of ten on my chuckleometer. Thank you!

    1. Zooks! Seamless? I dunno. Thanks for dropping comments. Is the warranty still in force on your chuckleometer? Incendiarily, rambling is a release – at steady creative stuff I often suffer hernia. Took serious injury trying to write poemetry. Should oughta leave that to the perfessionals; doc sez the cast can come off in two weeks, but my head will never again be write.

      1. 😂😂Chuckleometer is a brand new Christmas pressie! Listen to your doc. He could have said the head can come off in two weeks, and the cast are a disaster! Anyway, who wants a head that can’t write!

  6. This was great! And your Warning Deer joke reminded me of the Confuse-A-Cat/ Stun-A-Stoat/ Stymie A Thompson’s Gazelle sketch for some reason.

    1. Well, thank you. Just in from chores, did a search on S A Thompson. Comedian okay, but no reference to the “Gazelle” sketch. I can guess. Consider that high praise coming from one of my blog heroes. Then, there’s something about “raising the bar.” Limbo bar, okay. Pole vault crossbar, not so good…

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