QAP – November 22, 2020

Men, your women ask you questions.  You should be prepared.  Rehearse your answers.  For your health and well-being. 

Let me introduce the QAP method. 

First the Question you should prepare for.  Then, the Answer or answers that will improve your chances of survival.   Finally, in the manner of explaining left-handed as opposed to right-handed threads, or why sometimes it’s a matter of finesse, not a bigger ball-peen, the Psychology behind those answers.

Our first question today, and it’s a doozy, comes from Paul F of Scranton, Pa.  Paul writes:

QAPster, my wife catches me, you know, looking sometimes. I know she’s trying to trap me because she doesn’t come right out and ask me if I was looking but instead…

Got it Paul.  This is dangerous territory.  Like spin the bottle with a snapping turtle in the game. Consider this –

Q: She asks you, “Do you think she’s pretty?”  The absolute truth of it, whoever ‘she’ is, is irrelevant.

A1: Write this down! “Why, Sweetheart, she reminds me a little of you, so now that you mention it, yes.”

P1: You appear to be answering honestly – whether you are or not.  It’s important you get across 1) she brought it up, 2) you only considered it because that ‘other woman” immediately makes you think of her, and 3) obviously, because the other woman only reminds you a little of her, your lady is the light of your eyes.  Easy-peazy.

A2: “Who?”

P2:   This tells your lady you weren’t even looking.  Obviously, you can’t use this if you were really staring, tongue hanging out, eyes bulging.  That shouldn’t be a tough call.  If your lady’s tone was more sarcastic than inquisitive, no answer can keep you out of divorce court or the ER if you’ve been caught before.  Worry over whether there’s a heavy or sharp object within your wife’s reach.  Also, don’t try this answer but once unless your wife has severe memory lapses.

Inaugural Twofer day, today only!  Our next question comes from Ron B who hails from St. Mary’s Ontario. Ron says:

QAPster, I mean I married her right?  Why does my wife ask me about three times a month if I had it to do over would I make the same mistake?

You’re joking, right, Ron?  She doesn’t use the mistake word, does she?  That’s your frustration coming out?  I’ll assume so.  Here you go:

Q: The question takes several forms but always boils down to, “Would you marry me again?”

A:  Don’t blink; speed is of the essence here. Simplicity too.  “Yes.”  No emphasis or explanation just matter of fact. Get it out there. Don’t dally.

P: Speed means there was no thought at all necessary.  As if this is something you obviously consider daily or more often and always, always, always come up with the ‘yes’ answer.  Don’t be emphatic in any way as that suggests a position of defensiveness or at least guilt in considering another answer.  Explanation suggests you are convincing yourself which will not convince her of your sincerity.

Paul and Ron, you’re welcome.

If you, out there men, have a question question, drop me a line.  Being prepared sometimes is more than half the battle with your other half.

FF:10+; WC:539

Published by spwilcen

Retired career IT software engineer, or as we were called in the old days, programmer, it's time to empty my file cabinet of all the "creative" writing accumulated over the years - toss most of it, salvage and publish what is worthwhile.

10 thoughts on “QAP – November 22, 2020

    1. Recon this is more spot-on than I thought. And from legit mistakes, we can learn. Thankee, sir for stopping by and reminding us of shoe:fits. (meaning, as I’m obscure sometimes) What seems a (koff, koff) Democrat reply, has a lot of double-edge in it.

  1. A funny post. It’s much easier for dogs of course. I sometimes admire the brazen way they go around sniffing each others nether regions!

    1. Hobb – The clutch chronicles get at that. Clutch would like to like to get Espie up to speed, but he likely will have his “hands” full. Thank you for poking it out here.

  2. Sincerity is better than rehearsing and you never know when you just might say the wrong thing that turns out to be totally right. The most wonderful and memorable compliment Hubby’s ever given me came out just like that. We were headed to town and I went to change from my garden clothes (something he rarely bothers doing). He encouraged me not to change (perhaps so he didn’t look as bad in comparison?). I said, “But I look so frumpy!” He replied, “Don’t worry, I can see through the frumpy.” Aaaawwww, my sweetie!!!

    1. Kudos to your man. You have trained him properly. Thanks for popping by and thinking through and sharing. Often cranky and contrary, we all have moments of “nice.” I try to keep it manageable.

      1. Sounds like you’re pretty well-trained too, kudos to Wifey. 😉 When you sprinkle it with funny it usually works well enough. I hope you do more of these, I could send some questions from Hubby!

    1. That of course, is tongue-in-cheek. Thanks for stopping by. Ya know, much of life’s difficulty would be put aside or softened under the press of common sense. I’m a college grad+, so don’t misunderstand, but seems higher education strives to eradicate common sense. I hope we survive.

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